Saturday, December 27, 2014


About the sudden frequency of news items concerning (usually gorgeous) female teachers "raping" male underage students:

Comparable gender sexuality discourse is still taboo in this country. While male perped rape is violence and not sex for females, it may be hard to prove that female perped rape is not sexual or unconsensual on the male side. Also, the incidental presence of elements of sexual pleasure or arousal during rape may be difficult to compartmentalize in an unconsensual and violent situation. Lots of work to do with these primitive laws.

The Modern Sociopath

I forward to you the assertion that all forms of violence are symptoms of mental illness.

This definition of violence includes law enforcement, military, agricultural (animal exploitation) and religious violence, which are all normally sanctioned in most modern societies.

Coincidentally or not, this violence is almost exclusively perpetrated by human males.  One is led to extract that human hormonal enhancement (or challenge) predisposes certain people to express this form of mental illness.

There are reasons to believe that in present modern societies, violence could ideally be replaced with more functional behavior, such as verbal conflict resolution strategies and diplomacy.

Violence has been rationalized as a last resort.

All the Ways We Hang Ourselves

Keeping this day as a pure and enforceable do-absolutely-nothing day, I just let the cravings and impulses roam amok, and...
there weren't any.

Played games all day on my phone in bed in the dark till my eyes hurt. And now I'm back on the screen.

My brain wasn't stopping though, not even for a second.

Caught myself  1) holding my breath  2) unconsciously tightening up all my upper torso muscles  3) making background mental lists of all the things I could/should be doing instead.

That meditation of not thinking of anything while not doing anything is still not something I have mastered, although I've done it for seconds at a time at various times, and it always did a world of good to me.  There's lots of things that may do me worlds of good, but the reason I don't just start doing them are numerous and complex.

Basic self-sabotage acts, some stemming from fear of change, general avoidance, and a realization of having reached a minimum level of comfort - i.e. not being hungry, worried about sheller etc.

DISCOMFORT plays a huge role in all of this.  Getting out of the warm blankies. Having to face my face another aging day.

Friends are moving away.  Relatives are few and far away.  Being alone is ultimately comforting.